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Since then I've managed to deal with it, but the urges still remain. I had to fight it off with ounce of will power I had. The very first time it happened when I was ten I was helping mom wash dishes when the thought came to me to plunge a parring knife into her back. I've learned over the years to ignore the urges. Then tonight, it was groping a female reporter. All I could visualize was letting one fly in his face. Over and over all morning long the thought distracted me as I tried to work. Today I was shooting a sweeps piece with an anchor and the thought popped into my mind to spit in his face. I've been having them since I was ten and I'm getting sick of having them. When these thoughts surface, stay calm and try to react to them in detached and observant manner. So the remedy is to reorient oneself such that we do not react to such ideas with horror and aversion. that's how you were feeling to begin with, the thoughts are just an effect, not the cause. The way that those "intrusive" thoughts make you feel. An OCDish person who has these types of thoughts is constantly feeling anxious and ashamed and self-conscious so their mind is most receptive to the most unpleasant of these thoughts. ![]() ![]() E.g., we see a knife and our mind subconsciously makes all sorts of associations with cutting vegetables or stabbing people or memories of the knife being used. Underneath our conscious thoughts, we have all sorts of subconscious thoughts in response to what we experience. In a similar way, the mind pesters us with thoughts we are most vulnerable to. A bully notices the most sensitive and most receptive people to their bullying and then picks on them using the victims most obvious vulnerabilities. What is happening is that the mind is acting sort of like a bully. Meditating for 20 minute sessions 2-3x per day should help with this condition.
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